strangeaddict

Well im sitting here drinking my first cup of smoothe move tea...I am FINALLY begining the Master Cleanse.  However, I am scared about the SWF tomorrow morning.  I'm waking up early to make sure I wont be needing the bathroom bc I have work at tomorrow night.  I'm surprised at how expensive the stuff adds up to...granted im not eating while on it so I guess it's even.  I prepared 3 bottles of the lemonade.  I was really shocked at the tast it is not bad AT ALL.  I don't mind it.  Well just thought it would help if I keep a journal while on the cleanse.

I dont understand what my problem is...MY GOD i need to stop eating. I took phentermine for a couple weeks and havent taken it lately and ive been eating..ahhh im so frustrated i feel disgusting. Ever since i started working it ruined everything. I know you would think now that im super busy i wouldnt eat. I dont have a problem i go alllll day without eating and then when i come home at night i EAT! EVERY damn day i said thats it tomorrow night when i come home i WILL NOT EAT..and i end up eating..ahhh
and i hate it bc i dont eat all day then i eat at night the worst time everrr...and ive beenn SUPER exhausted from work and school i havent been working out as much...i just feel like i am losing control..i really should get back on some type of diet pill...i really need a plan...i think tomorrow i will take phentermine in the morning and fast all day and do the same on wed..i think i only have like 3 pills left though...I know purging is horrible and i have never dont it however ive been thinkin about it..and ive tried it a couple times however i never can seem to get nethin out..i just cant handle the feeling of food in my stomach it makes me depressed...the feeling of starvation is heaven
Well i need to get back on track that is the end of it

Well...I had a different lj but decided to create another one simply for my obssesion of perfection. I hope this will help me keep track and motivate me...Welcome to anyone who wants to add me although all that youll read on here is my complaining about my body or talk about my fasts. I guess ill start using this thing...hope it helps